Your Jealousy Archetype is…

🐍

The Performer

You bring magnetism, charm, and play into relationships, making people feel seen, wanted, and adored. You give so much to others, and yet at times you find yourself questioning, “Am I worthy?”

Read on to discover:

  • Why certain triggers hit harder for you than others.

  • Get clear on what keeps you stuck in jealousy spirals (even when you know better).

  • Your archetype isn’t a flaw—it’s a superpower when you learn how to work with it instead of fighting against it.

  • Most people unknowingly reinforce their jealousy patterns without realizing it—this will show you how to break the cycle for good.

  • Learn what to do next to start feeling truly safe, secure, and magnetic in love.

Is this your story?


Pssst – if this archetype doesn’t resonate, check out the others!

You don’t think of yourself as someone who tries too hard.

If anything, you’ve always just been good with people. You’re adaptable. You know how to make others feel comfortable. You can carry a conversation, sense what someone needs before they even say it, and adjust accordingly.

You’re just… being yourself. Right?

But then, every so often, you catch yourself mid-conversation, agreeing to something you don’t actually want. Or laughing at a joke that doesn’t land for you. Or downplaying how you really feel, just to keep things easy.

And later, when you're alone, you feel off.

It’s subtle, so subtle it’s easy to brush off. But it happens a lot.

It happens when you’re dating—picking up the other person’s vibe, matching their energy, subtly shaping yourself into the version of you that makes them light up.

It happens in friendships—being the easy one, the go-with-the-flow one, the person who makes things fun, even when you’re exhausted.

It even happens when you’re alone—when your thoughts automatically default to consider what someone else would think, feel, or want.

Somewhere along the way part of you learned that love is conditional.

That you have to be enough—pretty enough, smart enough, fun enough, chill enough, irreplaceable enough—to secure your spot.

And when jealousy flares, it’s not just about this moment. It’s about every time you’ve ever felt like you weren’t chosen. Every time you’ve felt like you had to earn love, rather than trusting it was yours to have.

4 Signs You’re the Performer: 

  • You catch yourself comparing—to their ex, their friends, or even strangers on social media

  • You often downplay your feelings or pretend you’re “fine” when something bothers you

  • You give a lot in relationships—emotionally, physically, or even financially

  • You crave validation and reassurance but often brush it off or struggle to believe it when you get it

You wish you could just…

  • Feel chosen without feeling like you have to compete for it

  • Quit comparing yourself to your partner’s exes, their hot coworker, or that random Instagram model they follow

  • Trust that your partner isn’t settling for you while secretly wishing they were with someone else

  • Know you’re magnetic AF just as you are—without the over-giving, over-pleasing, or over-performing

But it feels like this jealousy thing is totally hijacking your brain! 

“Don't settle for a relationship that won't let you be yourself. The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.”

IF YOU WANT TO FEEL SECURE & SEEN,
HERE’S WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW: 

Look, you already know you shouldn’t feel this way.

You know your partner loves you.

But the second a jealousy trigger hits?

BOOM.

Your nervous system hijacks your brain like a toxic ex who won’t stay away.

The worst part is, you’re left asking:

“Why am I like this?”

Jealousy is a biological reaction.

It’s your body’s built in alarm system signaling that something important to your sense of love, belonging, or identity feels at risk.

Most people try to use reason and logic to get out of a jealousy spiral. They’ll talk to a friend or try to “talk themselves down,” or talk to their partner.

But these methods usually fall short because jealousy is an emotional response.

When you try to think your way out of an emotional response, you’re using the slow, logical part of the brain to fight against the fast, instinctual, and deeply wired survival system.

But using logic to combat jealousy Does. Not. Work.

Stick around, and I'll show you how to work with your body's natural system so your archetype feels more like a superhero than the villain in your love story.


When you integrate deep inner security, everything else just “clicks” into place.

  • You no longer feel the need to compete, compare, or over-give to “prove” your value

  • You trust that love doesn’t require constant maintenance—it can hold itself through the seasons

  • You feel truly chosen, not because you worked for it, but because you are inherently worthy of it

  • You finally get to be the one who sits back and receives love, instead of always being the one trying to earn it

BUILD YOUR VERY OWN

Your next step:

Somatic Security System

The way you experience jealousy isn’t random—it follows a predictable pattern shaped by your past experiences, attachment style, and core wounds.

If you experience intense jealousy (even if you know better) it’s not because you’re broken or you’re crazy or you’re “just a jealous person.”

You’ve just built your security system to solve for the wrong problem.

You think that if you can control the trigger situation, if you can get jealousy to not occur, then you’ll be safe.

When the truth is, triggers will happen. You can’t control that.

But when you regulate how you feel in your body, everything else changes.

How do you do that? ↓

Get out of the jealousy cycle

Pssst…everything you need is inside the Secure Love Playbook

Get 60+ pages of joiurnal prompts, guided practices, progress trackers, and all the skills you need to turn intense jealousy into lasting security

and it’s all yours for just $27

The No-BS Interactive Journal to Become
Secure in Love

FOR 1/3 OF THE COST OF YOUR NEXT MANICURE YOU CAN:

  • Create your own Somatic Security System to come back into balance. Catching a whiff of jealousy will no longer hijack your day or send you into a shame spiral.

  • Learn simple strategies to communicate and establish appropriate limits and boundaries without fearing you'll push others away.

  • Dive into your Secure Love Soundtrack – a curated playlist of podcasts and tunes to elevate and inspire your journey to confidence in love

  • Create your unique roadmap to turn jealousy into fuel for personal growth and more connected relationships.

I’ve designed this playbook to work for people like me: the procrastinators, the bare-minimum-is-what-I-goters, the way-too-f*king-busiers, the ADHDers.

Pick a practice or journal prompt that fits your day—whether daily or weekly—and start building relationship security on your terms.

With over 60 beautifully designed pages, you'll find it easier to navigate triggers, rewire anxious patterns, and live in secure relationships.

  • "I love this all! (so much!!!) I look forward to working on it. Thank you Jess!!

  • "Thank you so much! You have a really beauitful way of synthesizing and articlating hte power of incorporating new processes. I'm excited to try these out."

  • "I def need this practice to be empowered or I will default, as I do, to giving my power away."

  • "I already used the safe space when getting triggered and it helped a lot. The way my body felt shifted and I pulled myself out of it. I will continue to grow that muscle."

  • "Omg thank you SO MUCH. These look like fucking helpful AF exercises. I can't wait. Especially writing about who I am. I think I forgot about myself parts of this year."

  • I wanted to share another win! When I feel a strong emotion instead of judging myself and thinking "why am I feeling this" I think, "how can I care for myself?" And that shift feels like a huge brain upgrade.

Inside you’ll find…

+ Secure Communication Scripts

+ 30 days of secure love mantras

+ Inspirational quotes and
images

Only $27!

+ Feeling & sensing quick-reference guide

You’ll come away with knowing how to calm jealousy and anxiety in real time, stop hyper-vigilance and overthinking spirals, and retrain your nervous system to feel safe in love.

Grab the playbook today and I’ll hook you up with the “Why You’re Still Jealous (even after doing all the work)” workshop! 

“This has been the most beneficial investment of time and intention, of steady-paced and permanent impact.”

free bonus video!

Does this sound helpful af?

“Your support, expertise, and genuine care is heaven sent. You are such a badass, no lie!”

“I always wanted this kind of support but didn’t know who to trust.”

Hello beautiful human. I’m Jess.

I am of mixed Lebanese-European heritage, living and working on Indigenous ancestral and unceded land in the Northwest Coast.

I help you change the way your body experiences jealousy, so you’re no longer stuck in hyper-vigilance, emotional armor, or feeling like you have to manage love to keep it safe.

If you’ve already tried going to therapy, listening to a bazillion podcasts, or journaling your pretty little heart out (and nothing seems to work) I’ve got something that will work for you!