Evidence List

Part 1

To do this practice, simply list all the evidence you have available that shows your progress.

I challenge you to set a timer for a full 15 minutes (or 3 songs) and see how much you can get down that supports your progress/change/goal actualization. 

When you push yourself, you’ll be able to see evidence from even more angles and perspectives.

Then, read this list back to yourself as often as you can (I always recommend at least when you wake up and before bed).

The goal here is to train your brain to recognize and store this as evidence to support your more empowered beliefs ((because your brain will tend to do the opposite!).

Part 2

If you’re feeling resentful and frustrated that your partner hasn’t noticed the changes, chances are you’re playing into the negativity bias just like they are. 

You can ask your partner (or friend/parent/sibling) to do this exercise with you, where they create their own evidence list for how you’re showing up differently. 

Or, you can add them to your own private practice by listing all of the ways you can see how they are supporting your journey. 

To help cultivate an environment of support (which goes a long way in helping change stick) you can offer appreciation to your partner (or even to yourself!) of all the ways you see them supporting your progress. 

For example, "I really appreciated how you checked in around my feelings about us not having sex that often right now. It felt good to hear you say ‘it’s an overwhelm thing, not a you thing.’ I felt so reassured." 

Even though you may be the one on the healing journey, offering the appreciation that you want to receive can actually bring you more of that sense of appreciation.